15 Unexpected Things That Happen When You Move From a Big City to a Small Town

Joys of Josie, Lifestyle / Wednesday, March 21st, 2018

  1. You learn that 5th cousins can be considered family too.
  2. High school athletics and homecoming court pictures fill the local newspaper.
  3. You can’t get arrested without the whole town knowing because it’s printed in said newspaper.
  4. You realize that a long commute to any kind of entertainment is just a way of life now. Unless you include the local high school football game, you better expect to drive 20+ minutes to anything that’s not a garage or house party.
  5. Home security is cheaper thanks to the neighbor lady across the street that leaves you a note on your doorstep to tell you some strange truck stopped in the middle of the road to take pictures of your house.
  6. You realize that gardening and yard work aint made for the weak. Saturdays are spent not only keeping the exterior of your house in tip-top shape but weeding and tending to the garden. Or in my case, saying fuck-it to the garden and try to not look suspicious when searching for a neighborhood kid to mow the lawn.
  7. Food has never tasted so homemade, rich, buttered and delicious. Baked goods are so plentiful and so freaking delicious. Ever heard of freshman 15? Well, you better be prepared for the small-town 60.
  8. When you visit home, the big city suddenly becomes scary and unsafe after getting used to the easy and safe life in the small town.
  9. Your new friends think you drive like a maniac because you are used to maneuvering 8-lane interstates.
  10. Avoiding people you know at the grocery store is an Olympic sport that takes great skill and unmatched patience. You always have to be prepared to swerve your cart when your husband tells you, “Quick! Next aisle!”
  11. You realize life is so much more affordable… in almost every way… groceries, hair cuts, property taxes, real estate…
  12. Instead of cute little campfires… burning pallets, couches and tires are more appropriate.
  13. Star gazing is easy without the glow from the city lights. Picking out the constellations is fairly easy to do when you can actually see all the stars.
  14. You start to appreciate the silence and lack of noise in a small town. Crickets and other bug noises can actually be soothing.
  15. When your husband tells you to grab the bucket of fish and run, you run. Trespassing to fish in the good pond has its downfalls but I’ll be damned if I stand around the shitty pond all day without a single bite.

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