Before I start this post, please let me state that, no, I am NOT pregnant. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve recently jumped on the IUD bandwagon because, hello… my daughter just started sleeping in her crib and I’m milking that life. I’m in no way near ready for another baby… possibly never ready. So instead of just living that ‘I hope I’m not pregnant’ life every month… even though it’s quite reminiscent of the college days (the good old days)… we’ve decided to live the ‘I’m a responsible adult and know I can’t afford (emotionally and financially) another baby’ life. Hello, IUD!
As you can guess, when I was pregnant with Rory, Evan and I chose not to find out whether the little nugget was a boy or girl.
One of my best friends has been an advocate of this tradition and definitely was a big help in persuading us to not find out. At first, I wasn’t on board with the surprise at all. I wanted to know everything I possibly could about this thing growing inside of me, but my husband wanted to wait until delivery to find out. In our marriage, it’s pretty much my way, always… we are both very easy-going and don’t disagree much, but when we do… the one that “wins” is usually, yours truly. I just kind of figured I’d let him have this one. Throw him a bone, eh?
Let me tell you… this was the absolute best choice!
Three reasons why you shouldn’t find out the sex of your baby.
Element of surprise.
There are very few things in life that can actually be a surprise. I know, I know… there’s technology out there that can tell you the gender of your baby before you even conceive (jokes… I think). But just because it’s available doesn’t mean you HAVE to oblige. Just like 3D ultrasound pictures… I know they are available, but good Lord, they are the creepiest pictures I never want to see. Personally, if I never see what the inside of my uterus looks like (aside from the usual grainy black and white ultrasound pictures) I think I’ll be ok.
When I went for my pre-op appointment (I had a cesarean… she was breech) the lady who was giving me all my paperwork told me that the hospital only has about 2-3 surprise gender deliveries a month. A MONTH. That little statistic blew my mind. And then I took a moment to feel special, classic and just fucking cool.
Admittedly, not finding out was a bit of a challenge for me but it was so so worth it.
It’s a v v magical moment when the doctor pulls your baby out of you and asks the father to announce the gender. Given… Evan actually told me the wrong gender when the doctor pulled her out… babies are very swollen when they are first-born and I’ll just leave it at that.
All the wrong-gender confusion aside, it was a pretty fantastic moment that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
You get what you need.
This reason should in no way be the sole reason to keep the gender a surprise but it’s definitely a huge perk so I added it in.
When you are having your first baby, it’s a given that you are going to have a shower or two to celebrate your future baby with gifts, cake and embarrassing games. When you’ve already found out what the gender is, it seems that everyone uses that as a pass to forego the registry and just buy whatever pink or blue outfit they find cute.
While those gifts are always appreciated, it’s a bit of a stressor when you’ve got 15 pale blue sleepers but no crib for the nugget to sleep in.
Take away that gender and people are forced to use the registry and get your baby what he or she needs OR they make you something gender neutral. Rory received several hand-crafted gender-neutral gifts and those are definitely some of my favorite shower gifts.
Instead of pink outfits, we were gifted breast-feeding supplies, travel equipment (strollers, car seat, bases, etc.) and other items that were v essential. And because those items are gender neutral… they could be reused. Y’know… if I ever get confused and decide I want more kids.
And if you’re worried about your nugget having enough clothes to wear, worry not. We left the hospital with a truckload (literally) of baby girl clothes that were gifted to us from our amazing friends and family that visited.
It doesn’t matter anyway.
Yeah… the big one. It. Doesn’t. Matter.
You can’t send it (meaning your child) back and ask for an exchange. After some fertility issues and a miscarriage, Evan and I knew that all we wanted was a healthy baby.
Boy or girl, the little beeb was going to be loved just the same.
I know a lot of people want to know the gender in order to “plan”. In regards to that, I respect the “planning” aspect but, it’s unnecessary. The planning is necessary (making sure you have a crib, car seat, diapers, etc.)… but knowing whether or not your baby has a penis isn’t as necessary.
You can decorate a nursery in neutral colors and then add more gender specific or baby specific pops of color after the babe is born.
Food for thought.